A huge source of suffering in our life comes from expectations that are not materializing as we had imagined. These expectations are part of a perspective that we have adopted, and somehow believed is truth. We are so sure of an event, an experience, an eventuality, that we are completely at a loss when it doesn’t play out the way we have envisioned.
We have attached so strongly with our opinion or perspective that we begin to view it as an absolute. We do not question the validity of the expectation; we question those who cannot meet the expectation. Whether that person is ourself or someone else doesn’t matter, they are viewed as ‘a loser’. A person who did not live up to their potential.
When we see anything as an absolute, we are giving that perspective permanence. We know that everything is impermanent, we are trying to make that which is impermanent, permanent. There is really only one way this can end, and that is with suffering.
Also, by attaching we are not present anymore. We are not allowing ourselves to remain in the rhythm of change and movement that is life. We are instead, holding on to a heavy stone that will bring us down further and further.
The best thing we can do is realize what in our life is the product of expectations and release those attachments. Instead, learn that everything is in constant movement, and you as well as those around you are enough, just as they are.
Then smile and/or laugh at these human inconsistencies, give yourself a big mental hug, and move on.